Insecurities

The reason why she is feeling insecure, because people often replace her, with someone better, someone funnier, someone smarter, someone prettier.

The reason why she is feeling inferior, because people often take her as a replacement, for their priority isn't there.

She wished to forget,
Convincing herself,
Not everyone is like that,
But memories,
Chose to haunt her forever.

Flawful

Her fingers were stuck while brushing through her dark brown hair, "Just like our friendship" she thought.

Her mental health deteriorates slowly, day by day, even though she puts on a smile on her face everyday, those are the masks she wears covered up her tears and aches.

Her friends forget about her at times, leaving her alone in a quivering mass of humanity, feeling low, yet no one notices it.

Her family loved her, her grandparents showered her with love and care, yet their aging eyes, blurry sights, covered the scars on her wrist, and they never knew, how sad she was.

Her mind, kept her awake the whole night even though she wants to fall asleep and never wake up. Sleeping pills did not work for her anymore, because she is already immune to them.

Her flaws were pointed out, but her beauty never was. She is just hoping someone will tell her "You are doing ___ well." or "You are beautiful" She will be satisfied, by this 1 sentence because no one ever told her that.

Trust

Each time she confide in you
Please understand
Its because she trust you
So do not break her trust
For it breaks her heart too

Broken

Each time she walks by you
The broken friendship and memories drowned her again
She swallowed her tears
And continue walking on
Acting like its nothing
But you have no idea
How much it hurts her.

Why?

She asked herself "What am I working hard for?" because no matter how much she studies, she still failed.

She asked herself "Why am I putting in effort?" because no matter how much she practises, she is still lousy.

She asked herself "Why am I still tolerating her?" because no matter how angry she gets, it never stays long.

She asked herself "Why am I feeling sad?" because she kept things to herself, bottling up her thoughts.

She asked herself "Why? Why can't I be flawless? Why can't I be perfect? Why can't I be happy? Why do friends backstab me?" Loads of questions came crashing down on her, yet she kept it to herself, suffocating herself, killing her inner self, giving up on things she shouldn't be.

Meaningless

She took a dose of sleeping pills or so, but she still can't fall asleep
She laid on her bed for hours, many things ran through her mind
She looked at the sky, wondering why isn't she there
She held on to her meaningless life,
but maybe she should die.

Hurt

She misses her genuine smile,
She misses her innocent thoughts,
She misses her carefree childhood,
She misses her past.

Yet she can't be herself again.
Trust destroyed her,
Friendship failed her,
Criticism killed her,
Remarks hurt her.

Slowly

Each criticism fails her a little,
Slowly it accumulates.
Inferiority pricks her a little,
Slowly, it builds up.
Negativity kills her a little,
Slowly, it piles up.
Tears drown her a little,
Slowly, she gets suffocated.
Slowly, she lose herself.
Slowly, slowly,
Unnoticeable by people but herself.
The pain sinks in slowly, slowly
but one day she broke down.

Existence

She wished she didn't exist, for life is too tiring.
People despised her for her scars, for they don't know why.
She wished she wasn't here, for people around her kept judging.
Friends didn't care enough, for they don't notice her puffy eyes.
She wished the doctors didn't save her, for she would be faraway enjoying.
Family didn't love enough, for they don't know how broken she is.
She wished for someone to love and care for her - Truly, for she don't know who is true, who isn't.
She is really tired of guessing, guessing who treats her truthfully for she is afraid of getting hurt again.